(What beer snobs do with the cheap stuff)
Northern Pacific giant slugs
Are not just a frightful sight;
They devour lawns and gardens
With voracious appetite.
I tested a claim of science
And got a slug drunk last night;
I poured some white wine on it,
Then giggled with childish delight.
It writhed in seeming ecstasy
As it suckled the wet board;
Whenever it reached a dry spot,
It turned back around for more.
I had heard they liked beer and wine...
This proved the theory true;
No problem spending a buck
To see if they're lured to the brew.
Those repulsive, slimy monsters
On my plants will no longer sup:
My generous offering of beer
Will make sure they drown in a cup!
A.K. Garrigus
September 30, 2005
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